Every so often, Aldren, Mara, Lucian, and Merrick manage to get all four of themselves killed at once.
Since death apparently isn’t permanent anymore, I figured I should at least keep a record of their ineptitude.
Fine. My ineptitude. Whatever. Shut up.
Eighteen episodes. Twenty-two wipes. Zero lessons learned.
Ohlo’s House · The Slums
Do not haggle with an old man who keeps an army in the next room.
Old Rope Guild · The Slums
Sometimes Sleep works. Sometimes it really doesn’t.
Old Hemp Market · The Slums
The sword worked. Everything else did not.
The Slums
The lock never stood a chance. Neither did the party.
Ruins West of the Slums
Interstellar gang signs apparently do not translate into Lizard Man.
Kuto’s Well
Apparently the first lesson wasn’t clear enough.
Kuto’s Well
When someone named Norris the Gray tells you to surrender, perhaps consider the offer.
The Pitt
Lesson: Attacking one drunk in a tavern full of monsters is remarkably similar to attacking the entire tavern.
The Old Rope Guild
Heroic speeches do not appear to increase troll resistance.
Textile Area
Turn Undead failed. Becoming undead remained a strong possibility.
Mendor’s Library
If the ghost can remove two character levels with a handshake, dying is almost the preferable outcome.
Sokal Keep
Preparing anti-undead spells before attacking an undead priest turned out to be surprisingly important.
Temple of Bane · Wealthy District
Dirten smashed the altar. Forty orcs appeared. In retrospect, there may have been a connection.
Temple of Bane · Wealthy District
Dirten smashed the same altar again. The orcs remained committed to consistency.
The Great Tower · Valhingen Graveyard
The spirits offered two choices: leave or die. Leaving apparently seemed unreasonable.
Vampire’s Lair · Valhingen Graveyard
The vampire charmed Mara. She murdered the entire party, then herself. Extremely efficient.
Yarash’s Laboratory · Stupid Goddamn Pyramid
Two Fireballs, one missed sling stone, and several paralysis spells later, Merrick became the final member of the control group to hit the floor.
Kobold Complex
The king obliterated Aldren and Lucian with a secret weapon. Another hundred kobolds and five apparently essential wild boars handled Mara and Merrick.
Kobold Complex
The party survived two consecutive battles, five wild boars, and the king’s giant ballista. Then the game produced two more trolls, two more boars, and another fucking kobold army.
Stojanow Gate
Lucian ran directly at an ettin while casting. The ettin corrected his positioning, and the rest of the party followed him to the floor.
Valjevo Castle
The party found hard evidence against Cadorna, stepped on a trap, and four angry fire giants immediately murdered everyone.
Tyranthraxus's Audience Hall · Valjevo Castle
Tyranthraxus blasted Mara and Aldren for 80 damage each, Merrick was already unconscious, and Lucian got to enjoy being the last living person in the room for several seconds.
To be continued, almost certainly.